[Happy Friday! Wrote this on a plane just before my flight back to the UK from Luxembourg (it was wonderful, thank you for asking) earlier this week. Enjoy!]

An unbroken beacon

A challenge

A world unexplored but lifeless

No potential

It is not death that stares me down

But the absence of life

No colour

A black and white relic

Hanging high above the horizon

We jolt into action

Spring forward

And fly

And yet

You remain

(It remains, no personality lies dormant)

Staring at the setting sun


What’s In A Name? (My 100th Post!) [Video!]

[This is my one hundredth post! Given the blog’s about a name of mine, this piece seemed an appropriate one. To mix things up, I made a video! There’s a transcript below so  you can read it if you’d rather, and so you can check out the links.]

Everyone loves the chance to be someone else sometimes, right? Apparently, I do more than most… Much of this is through my fantasy persona Skylance, who I’m hoping you know by now!

Despite his owning this blog, Skylance isn’t really a concrete figure in my head… just a name I always liked. I guess if I had to pin him down, he’d become the warrior as whom I played with my friend and my sister, even though he was called Jake (and then, when he died tragically, his younger brother Timothy). Read about them here if you’d like 🙂 Skylance rides dragons, fights evil, that sort of thing. Your standard fantasy lad, really.

I have a few other characters as well:

For when Skylance just isn’t socially acceptable (and, to be fair, my definition of socially acceptable is pretty generous, to the point that my ultimate (wait, what? You don’t know what ultimate is? Click here please!) teammates call me by my beloved fantasy name) I will opt for Lance (again, no surname). Most often, this comes in handy when I go bowling. I could (and will..?) write a whole other post on bowling, and the peculiar habits and rituals my mate (Knight) and I have invented for it, but suffice to say, whenever I bowl, I do so as Lance, and insist anyone with me chooses an equally cool name. I have to give quick shout-outs to Storm, The Jouster, and Sassy Rivers here – three of the strongest guest bowling names we’ve had. Respect.

Tobias Khash
Hoorah, a surname! This is a bit of an odd one that started at university. I decided to book restaurant tables under a fake name, because why not! It’s not like the restaurant asks for ID before they’ll seat you. Not quite sure where Tobias Khash (think ‘cash’ but with a long ‘a’ – subliminal messaging that I’m loaded and important, right?) came from, but when I book a table, he shows up.

Where to start… My best friend and I named my ‘alter ego’, which is essentially just the quite different person I become when I’m in a mood. The transformation is drastic – from loud, reckless, tactile social butterfly to a cold, calculating introvert who loves nothing better than discussing hypothetical disasters without a hint of empathy. That paints a fairly negative portrait – I actually really like the guy. He writes brilliant angsty poetry and is often ‘summoned’ by the completion of a particularly powerful book (1984 and Norwegian Wood were both big hits with Holden). And, of course, Catcher in the Rye, whence he gets his name. We share the same disconnect, imagining we’ve been shot, holding onto childhood innocence… Essays could be written on him (Holden loves being deep and complicated) but for now this will have to do.

At uni, I wrote a few raps. My most ‘successful’ (in that my friends would occasionally request performances on nights out) was about being an engineer and the love of maths and fear of girls that come with the job title. I performed it with a couple mates and we unofficially called ourselves ‘Awfully Tame’ (the opposite of Wretch32’s ‘terribly wild’ in his song Traktor on which the chorus is based). My rap name within the band was the above bastardisation of my own name, plus a gangsta link to borderline illegality, because an engineering rap star would be at best borderline cool. I’m still undecided on capitalisation – originally it was JayWalker… unlikely to matter as my rap career has stagnated somewhat since!

Jake, Skylance, Lance, Tobias Khash, Holden, and jaywalker. If we ignore the various nameless fantasy warriors and creatures (I’m 25, of course I don’t still imagine I’m a magog (not the biblical kind, the fire-throwing demon from Heroes 3, obviously) assassin who throws blue fire!) then I think that just about covers it…

I hope you enjoyed this view into how balanced and cohesive I am!

Hard Cell [the last Morocco piece!]

[The moment you’ve all been waiting for…the last Moroccan piece. After this, I have to write real posts instead of just drip-feeding you depressing poetry I wrote on holiday!
As a quick aside, if you are interested in glum existential reflection, just explore the tag ‘Morocco’ from my tag cloud, which is somewhere in the sidebar… and here.]

Grey gazes from stone windows
into souls imprisoned
Hardened minds trapped more in themselves,
in society, than in cells
For we have made these prisons
but really it is the world
The way we’ve made it, greedily,
that has killed everyone
leaving grey gazes from souls to souls with no link and no differences and no feelings.

The Boy on the Bus

[Despite yesterday’s post, there is more Moroccan magic to be had! And my magic, I mean angst. And by more, I mean this and one more piece. Don’t worry folks – it’s almost over. The months of angst will soon pass.]

[I suppose this is for him, in a way at least. May he avoid the fate I’ve set out.]

A cacophony of energy a shout a leap
No one can tame the young so changeable
From glee to sorrow in moments
Free from conformity
Only to grow into boxes with clipped wings.

What It Takes From Me

[A brief interlude piece written among all the other angst in Morocco. We’re nearly there, two to go!]

This has been my most productive day of writing and I feel drained the world has thrown words at me and sucked life from me.
My blood was richer with imagery but it was all made to rust to dust and blow away and take my soul with it. I have written what the world told me and I am done.

The Cursed Mythos

[I know, I know, it’s July and I’m still posting angsty stuff from my holiday in March… but this one’s Cthulhu-themed, I couldn’t leave it out! There are only a few more to go anyway so I’ll just post them all this week. Anyway, sending y’all Lovecraftian love!]

Pounding on my prison door
Clawing at these filthy walls
Take my eyes but still you cannot see
Take my freedom but still you cannot be me

i am lethal i am dying but still time is against you
you can’t hold me for much longer i am gonna get you

The end of days
The nameless ageless one
Breaking out this feeble cage
You will see what I’ve become
The suffering you gave to me
will be repaid a thousand-fold
You made of me
Your enemy
The final terror to be told