[I have a friend called Edd. During a discussion of what American names would suit us, we inadvertently became an unstoppable boyband duo known as Chase & Lance. It’s his birthday. Here is an early draft of one of our singles. Keep an eye on the charts.
Note: for a sense of how the hell this song actually goes, listen to the first two minutes of Slam by Pendulum. The below lyrics start at 0:22 on this version. (Please note: I don’t condone sniping in such attire)]
It’s Chase and Lance
We’re Chase and Lance singing…
our new song, the best yet.
New Chase and Lance
Drop a new beat that’s sick…
the ladies, they love us.
And tonight, across this small island, we’re gonna celebrate…celebrate…celebrate.
We are the bestest boyband on the planet
We sing great songs and the crowds go ballistic!
When we dance…
They all scream
Chase and Lance!
We are the best looking band in existence
We just make tune after hit after banger
Of the time…
We rock hard
Pose for photo
And we pout.