Poor Pete [comic strip!]

[This is a blog-first medium! Enjoy. Let me know if there was a better way to put this up than this clunky format. For anyone interested, I believe a friend/cousin drew this, and I later added a story to (arguably) fit.]

Pete the orange was sad, as he lived all alone
Rain clouds would follow him wherever he’d go
His life seemed to be just a miserable mess
This sad state of affairs caused Pete much distress

MNiS Poor Pete 1.jpg

Then Pete found a rabbit, sat on the ground
This rabbit had udders, strange though it may sound
From these udders came poison, strong as can be
It could kill all the humans in the vicinity.

MNiS Poor Pete 2

The US Army, corrupted by greed
Didn’t like much this new technology
So they nuked the whole place, killing Pete, and unfortunately
His dopey, cute, flop-eared poison factory.

MNiS Poor Pete 3

fin.

Why Cynicism is Important

Why Cynicism is Important
I mean, it’s not really, is it. Let’s be honest, as much as a ‘healthy dose’ of it is lauded for its magical properties, the truth of the matter is that being cynical about the reality of the cold, cruel world still doesn’t help you survive its inevitable dreariness. And then you die anyway.

Why Optimism is Important ūüôā
People have plenty of different outlooks on life (which is great because diversity is super important) but natural selection will eventually ensure that the best way to think about life – optimistically – proliferates. Studies will surely soon prove beyond doubt that believing things will turn out well has a positive impact on the actors concerned, such that it is more likely – if not certain (I reckon it’s certain, and that you’ll agree!) – to lead to a better outcome.

Why Humour is Important

The benefits of humour have been studied and proven ‘scientifically’, through the art of ‘experimentation’. Some of these findings are shown in Table 1 below:

Ingredient                                        Quantity
onions, peeled and chopped           2 medium
olive oil                                               1tbsp
garlic, peeled and crushed               1 clove
lean minced beef                               500g
mushrooms, sliced                             90g
dried oregano or mixed herbs         1tsp
tomatoes or chopped tomatoes      400g
hot beef stock                                     300ml
Table 1: Humour Benefits Findings

This study fails to mention another key purpose of humour: exercise. Laughing works core muscles in the abdomen and keeps people fit and/or healthy. It should therefore come as no surprise that many famous comedians are overweight. Persistent exposure to comedy leaves these ‘professionals’ desensitised to jokes, such that they engage in laughter or laughterous activities less often. In addition, the sellout crowds they draw to stadia across the globe provide ample dolla with which to stuff their greedy faces.

Why Writing is Important
What do you think?
Let me know!

Guns, Hoes, B!tches [100 words]

[Thanks to the brilliant¬†Jane Basil’s recent lesson¬†on writing silliness just because it’s still writing something. Here’s my own, just for you Jane!]

Yo bitches be yappin and trippin

Chasin me but all they seen is that green

Mean and lean they be after me

Ain’t the life I asked for me

Go back to your hoes and your big cribs

‘stead of chasin me like you after my ribs

Fight or flight, neither endin well

So I play cool, keep low

Never looking fly

Or I’ll be lookin to die

Deez bitches all up on me, and if they ain’t, the guns follow

Being hunted like their prey,

prayin God be looking out for me

Damn life hard when you’re a pheasant.

[P.S. yeah the photo’s not relevant but you didn’t know that when you clicked on it!]