No Return

It’s like you’ve gone and flipped a switch

One minute you’re an angel next thing you’re a *****

One second it’s like old times

Than I’m wondering (damn) did I commit crimes

I didn’t come here to fight

Thought after all this time we’d be right

We’ve talked out what went wrong

Held my hands up now I thought we’d get along

Seems you need me to be the enemy

Trying to reinforce every single fault you see

When we get on we’re that team again

When it goes wrong we can barely be friends

Say you don’t know what you’re doing to me

But you also claim you still see right through me

You’ve ruled us out forever

But I still think that we could work together

 

 

Play That Old LP

Just fall, break down in my arms
break down the walls that guard your heart
and leave you distant
You don’t know how much I’ve missed you
We’ve both changed and I’m insistent
you give me one more chance

Been a while since we split now, when you were thinking we were right this is it now. I guess I caught you off guard because I wouldn’t commit and yeah I guess you fell hard because I treated you shit. I know I don’t deserve another shot at us, still I’m clinging to this hope that I’ve got of us.

[Just found this, undated but it’s within the last five years or so (because I consciously changed how I wrote the letter a around then and because of the subject matter) and seemingly half-finished. Feel free to suggest how it should continue if you want]

Options

‘A nice problem to have’
1
‘A selection headache’
2
Pure fancy at this stage
3
too soon
to know
and yet
we can’t
but imagine

Each one
comes to us
in mind, where we’re free
to choose, and swap, for:
no harm can come
no hurt wrought
from idle musings
on so many people
we could or could not
love

 

[just found this in my drafts.—it’s a few years old, and definitely not about anyone]

Butterflies

For Victoria

The excitement of new, the remembrance of old

The subtle advance or like lightning so bold

It can strike anytime and can hit anyone

And when it begins it cannot be undone

Irreversible, undeniable

And no matter what you try it will

Surround you, astound you

Above all it will confound you

Under its spell even saints will lie

Kings abdicate, the heartless cry

It pounds like a drum, a beat through the chest

And once it starts up the drummer won’t rest

It will drive you to madness, a voice in your head

But god if it stopped you would rather be dead

The song without lyrics, carefree it will rise

Out of pages and hearts like new-born butterflies

On paper-thin wings they bring hope to us all

To wait for the day, when in love we will fall

Food and drink you need for a party

[The following list has been compiled from empirical evidence gathered by the author during recent study in the field of annual vivocelebratory hosting of young adults. The information given represents informed conjecture and has yet to be statistically proven.]

1. Spirits. Like way more than you think. Let people B their own B when it comes to beer and cider and wine, but make sure you have copious gin and jäger and vodka.

2. Chocolate cake. Healthy salads are great and all but Point 1 of this extensive and exhaustive list means people will develop strong feelings about chocolate cake over the course of the evening.

A different light

[for Sammy]

this is not life
this is just existence, just about
hours, days blur by
blurred by grey
feelings, or
their absence
chasm,
into which we’d leap?
no, step back from the void
and turn around

someone is calling your name
from a distant light
running, yelling,
“wait!
don’t go
we love you.”

“why?” you ask,
not rhetorical
demanding an answer
they take your hand
and you see their heart and mind
and those of all your presence has touched

and all of it is love. and all of it is good
they see the same you, but in a different light
a golden one you don’t recognise
but through which you look…
different.
beautiful.
whole.
how can one person feel this way about you,
let alone this army sent to save you,
drag you back from the brink?

“how?” you ask, dumbfounded.
and they take your hand again
and you see times you never knew counted
when a smile, or a word, or
just your presence
helped not one soul
but dozens
and brought warmth into the hearts

you have one last question.
“how did you know?” you ask, trembling
a third time they take your hand
and now place it over their heart,
cold.

“your absence,” they say,
“was keenly felt”

silence
long silence

“What now?” you ask.

“Come back to all of us,” they say,
“and be our light and warmth again.”

You can do nothing but smile, wipe your tears, and agree.

Praise and Harmony

[Hi all! I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear I’ve managed to keep up my strenuous one-post-a-month policy with this piece – boy has it been tough! For real though, sorry I’ve been so quiet – work and holidays have consumed me in (almost) equal measure these past few months. Anyhow, here’s a piece that’s been sat gathering dust (haha, you’ll see why I laughed there) for a while now. It’s a soft one this. Enjoy!]

 

my heart was gathering dust

as others flashed by

they were

lightning to me

bright & exciting

& all too brief

how could I recognise the sun having seen only lightning?

 

each flash had, brief & blinding

imprinted itself on my mind’s eye

to colour my vision of all that followed

& dull my senses further from bright

hope and optimism

 

meeting you

was a slow sunrise to me

indistinguishable from a flash at first

you grew into my world

made it lighter

until you were all I could see

and would want to see

until hand in hand

we walk off into the sunset