[Courtesy of a dream about me which my friend Paddy had last night, I have several dream lessons for you today! Adventurers, confectioneers, and politicians, take note.]
Straying from the beaten path isn’t always the best idea.
Don’t be too quick to judge big, scary men.
Sweets might make everything better (it’s unclear whether they helped).
The NHS needs more money.
[What do you mean you have no idea what this dream was? Do not the lessons make it obvious? No? Ok… in Paddy’s words (gruesome injury warning):
“I had a dream that you broke your neck last night… we were mucking about on a playground and you decided to jump from one side to the other.
The playground was 2 large wooden structures with a thin plank between them and instead of walking along the plank you decided to throw yourself across, you then slid off the 2nd platform landing straight on your head.
I thought you were dead but then you started moving so I tried to get you to stop moving your head but you kept wanting to talk to everyone.
Eventually you agreed to go to hospital with me supporting your head but this involved walking though a bar filled with professional wrestlers but it was okay because Bill Goldberg helped us out, he was all “no worries I’ve broken my neck loads of times”.
Finally we reached the hospital and they just gave you sweets, I don’t know why but they clearly weren’t that bothered by your obviously broken neck – stupid NHS cuts.”]