Dream Lessons: #21 – (Par)take a chance

[Awful pun. Truly sorry. Shout out to my fave mobile game Microgolf Masters, which doubtless inspired this.]

Lesson #21

It’s always worth a free punt at a golf tournament in a shopping mall, on the off-chance you hit a stunning shot and make the quarter finals!

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Dream Lessons: #20 – Back to the grind

[Yay, the dream lessons are back! More to learn, less sense to make!]

Lesson #20

If you turn up back at your old job after a year away to do one day a week while continuing to live the dream, chances are no one will know what to do with you, and apparently, your recently-graduated mate will now be the Ministry of Defence’s go-to programming expert when dumb work experience kids need coding help.

 

Fallow Lands

[Hi again! Been a while, sorry about that… it’s amazing how quickly three months can go by when you’re giving yourself lots of holidays! Anyway, I’m totally back, probably. Here’s a piece I wrote as part of a recent job, where a poet commissioned a bunch of dystopian feminist flash fiction stories that he’ll then turn into sonnets. Just a normal job, hey? Happily, he said I was fine to share them here too, so enjoy! This is the first of five]

Fallow Lands

As soon as her husband closed the door, she fetched the stepladder, moved the armchair, pulled the hatch down, and clambered into the loft again. He wouldn’t be home until 15:00—she had hours!

She gingerly opened the box and lifted out the first book: ‘The Magic of Motherhood’. It was her favourite—everyone in it looked so real, not at all like the models you saw on the adverts, smooth skin stretched to bursting. These were real women, normal women. Women like her.

Paul would be furious if he knew what she was thinking, fantasizing about. There was no way they could afford a pregnancy. Even after the population had stabilised and HealthCo slashed the prices, pregnancies remained the pastime of the elite. Oh, to feel that incredible feeling of another life growing inside her! She pulled the book close to her chest, gently stroked its cover, whispered words of comfort to it, and to herself.

“Paul,” she breathed to the dead air of the attic, to the ghostly workbenches covered in sheets, “why can’t I have a child?” She knew exactly how he’d react. Sensible, pragmatic Paul.

Come now, you don’t want to be a part of the problem, honey! Pregnancies are just a celeb fad, a moneymaking scheme. Look at the trouble overpopulation caused,” he’d say with a tired smile.

He’d tap the terminal around her wrist, gently reminding her how lucky she was to be a registered citizen, not one of the ‘wanderers’, unregistered, on the streets, and free game for the militia that ‘kept the peace’. The same terminal, through two microscopic pins on its underside, kept her dosed up with enough hormones to make pregnancy impossible.

She noticed she was crying and stood up quickly, ashamed. The movement caused a sheet to slip from the nearest workbench—Paul had been quite the handyman when they first married. The jaws of a vice glinted at her.

Several minutes of exertion later, her mangled terminal fell from her wrist. With lecherous wanderers on every corner, she could be pregnant within the hour! She hurried down the stepladder to find something revealing to wear, ‘The Magic of Motherhood’ left discarded on the floor.

 

[What do you think? Exploring feminist issues in a dystopian setting, amiright?]

Dream Lessons: #18 – Harley Worth It

Lesson #18

When you’re mad at your friend for trying to drive your car to the house party because you’re taking too long at the petrol station, don’t let your subconscious autopilot direct you instead to your sister’s old school friend’s house.

[This dream was unusual in that it actually could happen. No zombies, flying, or beekeeping (I mean, I could do that but I don’t) – whereas I often drive to the wrong places when I’m not paying attention.]

Dream Lessons: #17 – Deep Cave City Limits

Lesson #17

When rescuing your mother from a flooded cave and then exploring it yourself (how else will you get that important microchip covered in DNA?), make sure you (or your sister, acting as a page) have a sword handy, because you just know that cave gonna be full of draugar (the plural of the Old Norse draugr, don’t ya know)!

Dream Lessons: #15 – Timmy’s Fallen Down The Well

Lesson #15

Intricate inter-mob revenge plots – involving your grandma, flooding their house, and then rescuing them with scuba gear – are unlikely to work as smoothly as planned.

[I hope I don’t have to clarify this, but to be perfectly clear, my grandma was a tool of revenge, not the target of it – I have weird dreams but there’s a line people! I even tried to subvert the plan because I felt bad.]