Lesson #15
Intricate inter-mob revenge plots – involving your grandma, flooding their house, and then rescuing them with scuba gear – are unlikely to work as smoothly as planned.
[I hope I don’t have to clarify this, but to be perfectly clear, my grandma was a tool of revenge, not the target of it – I have weird dreams but there’s a line people! I even tried to subvert the plan because I felt bad.]
When you’re living through a recent fave music video (Seagulls) whose verses have been revised to incorporate a vengeful spirit (Kayako from The Grudge (this sequence from the sequel is a particular favourite of mine)), it’s pretty likely that you’re going to get freaked out. It was such a fun dream until I inadvertently reenacted this classic scene (content warning) and turned it into a nightmare, though in a novel twist she crawled up the stairs rather than down…
Never a dull moment in my head!
[Edit: I’ve just published this on Thursday 27th April, but WordPress seems to think it was published four days ago, when I wrote the draft… very odd. Hence the incorrect numbering, it’s not me honest!]
Lesson #14a
Taylor Swift would look great with black, white and blue hair.
Lesson #14b
Nurses have a lot of respect for beekeepers, specifically the lengths they go to to avoid allergic reactions.
Lesson #14c
Dates with your sister’s school friend you’ve known for years are mega awkward.
Lesson #13
If you’re playing ultimate single-handedly, even getting a big handblock isn’t enough – you need someone to pass to if you want to score!
[For the uninitiated among you, a handblock is when you block a pass by the other team with your hand as they throw it. Of course, as you score by catching the disc in the endzone, and you can’t throw to yourself, even this ‘big play’ from me wasn’t helpful.]
[Belated Happy Easter!]
Lesson #12
Just because you’ve known your mum your whole life, doesn’t mean you can trust her not to have hidden reserves of cutlery you don’t know about.
[This will become apparent as you strategise how to handle the chaotic violence in the streets.]
My name is Skylance 