Is It Just Me? [feat. zombies]

Anyone else dead excited (haha) for the impending zombie apocalypse?

Ok, so it probably isn’t going to happen. And yes, seeing tons of my friends and family eaten alive would be, like, totally sad.

But still…

Just think about it.

The rules of normal life go out the window, along with the vacuous society…

Social media wouldn’t be a thing anymore. I think that would be refreshing.

Sure, I couldn’t share my thoughts with you lovely people like this…

But maybe we could battle hordes of undead together instead and bond over that.

Life would have a lot more meaning.

Self-improvement would have a purpose.

Motivation to get fit, fast.

Teamwork wouldn’t just be for the sake of corporate bonding events and squeezing out profits.

It’d be life or death. Screw synergy.

True, society as we know it would collapse, and we’d have to adapt to simpler, more violent existence…

But there would be upsides, I’m telling you!

That baseball or cricket bat lying unused in the garage would finally get dusted off.

The people who have actually prepped for it, many of whom I imagine might have limited social circles, would become heroes.

Everyone loves an underdog story.

That’s a point though. Zombie dogs would be freaking terrifying.

And imagine if it happened soon enough to coincide with this crazy clown trend!

That’s true horror right there.

Still, there’d be benefits.

Overpopulation is a global problem , and while I’d never suggest solving it with bloodshed, if it’s gonna happen, silver lining, right?

Impending death would convince a lot of people to finally speak up about feelings they’d kept locked away.

I think there would be lots of happy new couples. Hopefully neither of them would get eaten.

We’d all be more grateful for the people we have around us. Especially if they can set traps or use a crossbow.

Admittedly, the progress of the human race would be halted and reversed by tens, if not hundreds of years. We’d lose countless brilliant minds and records and advancements and medicines and ideas and works of art…

Decapitation could be an art form though, right? Done well enough?

We’d lose our obsession with wealth and fame and status.

I have nothing against Lady Gaga, but you wouldn’t have news stories about meat dresses.

Because you wouldn’t have news. Or maybe even dresses. Especially not meat dresses. Unless you were using someone as bait.

The news would be surviving another day.

People would be truly grateful to wake up each morning.


Enough of that.

Sometimes I think this world would have more brains if half of them got eaten.

Rant over, for now. Your thoughts on possible zombocalypse upsides?

The Ruling Species

[I attended a lecture this week on Moral Theory which formed part of the Philosophy strand of the Politics, Philosophy and Economics course at Durham University (my old stomping ground) and while I understood less than half of what was said, the notes I did take seemed to make sense. Of course, like any writer worth his salt, I wrote a poem to accompany the notes, hence the margin-style formatting, as it was indeed scribbled in the margin. Apologies to any philosophers with whose ideas I have taken artistic liberty… Everyone else – enjoy!]

Is it realistic
to deny that
anything goes?
In a world
where constructs
of “goodness”
can be
by the
of our
ruling species,
when any
moral judgement
can be passed
or denied,
the only
traits consistent
are those so
inhuman that
they can
have no
but human