Just your normal Wednesday really

Ever have one of those days where you just want to collapse onto the floor and lie there until something magically changes?
“I don’t have the energy for this. Hopefully the life fairies will be along soon to lift me up off the floor.”
or
“I’m fine, I just need to slouch on the sofa and slowly melt into a puddle of wallow and binge watch Friends for the eighth time.”
or
“Maybe eating a litre of ice cream and two packs of cheap chocolate-orange cookies will fix things.”

These days seem to come out of nowhere.
They swoop in when everything is going… fine I guess.
Not exactly well, but you know, still here, still plodding along.
Had some little victories and some little defeats.
But there’s still that thing to look forward to.

And then it’s not like everything falls apart
All dramatic, in an explosion of screams and a molten collapse
into darkness and despair and endless wailing.
No, it’s more like things just unravel bit by bit
Until suddenly you look behind you to see
a tangle
of trouble
you’re not sure you can piece back together
at least not right now.

Or something you were excited about
Some spark in your life
An idea, new freedom, that shining beacon ahead
gets snatched away from you
or even worse, from someone you care about
and there’s nothing you can do?

And now you’re wondering if you can promise Satan your first-born just to make things better?

Yeah… me neither. Everything’s fine.

How do you even get hold of Satan anyway? I don’t have any candles and can’t remember how to draw a pentagram.

Cancer

I’ve never thought of you as a crab.

Perhaps an otter,
sleek and affectionate,
or an owl,
peering wisely over your glasses
at a riddle or a puzzle.

I think actually you may be like an ant.
Please don’t be offended!
Let me explain.

Ants are incredibly strong for their size.
They always seem to be working,
scurrying, going somewhere
or carrying something.
You carried us many times.

Busily striving for a far wider colony.
Serving, helping, connecting.
You are always connecting.
Always know whose birthday
is when, who’s doing well,
who’s sick.

No surprise then
that so many connections
go both ways.
So many anxious, heartfelt messages
from across your colony, our colony.

But of course,
the ant is not a symbol of the zodiac.
So was crab inevitable?

You still have an ant’s strength.
No crab will beat you.
You will beat it.
Your colony is with you.

Old Ghosts

I see them in streets and I hear them in stories
A catch in my throat as I talk of old glorious days
A life that’s behind us but far from forgotten
I’m sure we both see them, but I far more often
These old, old ghosts

Faces familiar as the back of my hand
Their heads filled with visions of all we had planned to do
They don’t give me much but the faint tinge of sorrow
I shoo them away but they’ll be back tomorrow
These old, old ghosts
Of you and me
These old, young ghosts
We used to be

Every day that I see them we’re further away
A parallel life that was left to decay and wither
Come hither, look closer, this one was you
I never saw all that you knew you could do

Now this old, old ghost
Is left to roam alone
I clank my lonely chains
I’m bound to our old home

You left me cold
Your fire taken flight
You left so fast
You took your light
From me
To see
There’s more
For you
But I
I died
That me you knew
Is gone, is past
Is whispers now
Is ancient, irrelevant
Is still me somehow

I’m the old, old ghost
Of us.