I Am 99% Certain That Fate Just Tried To Kill Me

If you’ve ever seen any of the Final Destination films, you’ll know that ‘cheating Death’ by avoiding, through premonitions, disasters you would otherwise have been involved in makes Death pretty annoyed. Death then reclaims your life through bizarre chain-reaction accidents that always end gruesomely. Squeamish or hate spoilers? Skip to the next paragraph. Something like the sunbed locking and setting you on fire, or slipping backwards into a nailgun that then empties a round of nails through your face, that sort of thing. Often there’s a bit of buildup – the ‘evil’ trail of water from the dripping pipe in the first film which follows its victim around the bathroom attempting to make him slip as he does things like shave, pluck his noise hair with glintingly-sharp tweezers, and plug in an old, dodgily-wired radio, before he finally succumbs and is strangled by a clothesline. Typical.

Back to my life then: I’m at home and wander into the kitchen to make some toast. Pop some bread in the toaster and turn it on but ah – not plugged in. The microwave and the kettle are taking up the two sockets so I pull the microwave lead out, accidentally flicking on the socket as I do. I then go to plug the toaster into the live socket and start to sneeze mid-action, causing my hand to jerk a bit. Now I realise the sockets are pretty safe and plugging the toaster in, however jauntily, was unlikely to kill me. Nevertheless, it seemed an odd run of events and stayed my hand to switch the socket off first. As far as I’m aware, I haven’t cheated Death, so what’s this all about?

OK, during the course of writing this, I’ve maybe dropped to, say, 70% certain. Still, it was kinda weird…